Christmas is a time of year I love, the build up especially. But this year my excitement was clouded by a worry. We were moving on the 19th which I of course expected to be stressful. However it wasn't just the move that was on my mind. For a while, I'm not even sure of an exact time scale, I had what I can only describe as a full feeling in my left armpit. At first I put it down to the underwire of one of my bras digging in.
Time went on and I began to feel concerned about this 'full feeling' I was experiencing.I don't check my boobs properly, I never have. I know most will be screaming 'why?!'
I'm aware of how incredibly important it is to know your boobs, check them regularly and look out for any changes. But I physically can't do it, yes it's stupid, it's ridiculous that I can't perform a potentially life saving act that takes a few minutes. I have tried, prodded around but it freaks me out, it's a bit of a phobia for me.
So needless to say even though I had this strange full feeling I couldn't examine myself properly. I asked my OH to have a prod, he couldn't feel any lumps.
Eventually, a couple of weeks ago I booked an appointment at the GP's. I began to feel very nervous as it approached, knowing I would have to be examined, terrified incase something of concern was discovered.
I'd specifically made the appointment with a female doctor as I felt more comfortable with a woman. She asked me about my symptoms and then examined me. My right side first, all good. Then my left side, the 'full feeling' side. She found a lump.
I could have burst into floods of tears, I'd already convinced myself it was something sinister. Even though the doctor told me she wasn't 'particularly worried' she was referring me to the breast clinic at Guys hospital. She said I would receive an appointment within two weeks.
The next day I received a phone call from the clinic and an appointment was made for 23rd December.
In the days running up to the appointment I was feeling very anxious indeed. I had all sorts of scenarios running through my mind. Searching symptoms only fuelled my concerns and I convinced myself the clinic suspected something was up after booking my appointment so quickly.
The 23rd arrived and I had that sickly feeling of worry in the pit of my stomach. When the OH and I arrived at Guys we made our way up to the breast clinic, as we approached a woman walked out visibly upset accompanied by (I assumed) her daughter. This added to my nerves as did entering the clinic where leaflets and signs with information about breast cancer awareness were everywhere.
The first question the doctor asked when I was called in was 'how are you feeling?' I told him I was nervous and he was quick to reassure me that at this stage he wasn't concerned. After explaining my symptoms he examined me and agreed that there was a difference in my two boobs but he didn't mention 'lump'. He said he still wasn't worried, there was no family history of breast cancer, at my age it is rare but he was routinely sending me for an ultrasound to check that everything looked normal. He was very confident that nothing of concern would be found, I began to feel more at ease.
We walked down the corridor to the scan clinic and I was seen fairly quickly. First my armpit was checked and I was told it was fine, it was normal. Then my boob. When I heard there were lumps of fatty tissue which were completely normal, the relief washed over me. I was/am so thankful, grateful it was nothing serious. I am thankful I celebrated Christmas with my family without anymore worrying and thankful I am entering 2015 with good health.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you a very happy and healthy 2015!!!
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